Recording funeral wishes

The short answer

You can write what you would like for a funeral or memorial in your own words, and tell your family where it is written. Wishes written in the record guide your family. They may not be binding.

A list of wishes is not a will.

Rules differ by state and country. For a will, a power of attorney or an advance directive, see your own attorney and your state's official sources.

What Part 9 of the record holds

• What you would like for your funeral or memorial, in your own words.
• Whether a prepaid plan exists, and where its contract is kept.
• The funeral home and its phone.
• People to tell.

Every question can be skipped. You can write one line or a page.

What official pages say about writing wishes down

The National Institute on Aging says you can decide ahead of time what kind of funeral or memorial service you would like and where it will be held, and whether you would like to be buried or cremated. It adds that you can name religious, spiritual or cultural traditions you would like included.

The Federal Trade Commission suggests putting your preferences in writing, giving copies to family members and your attorney, and keeping a copy in a handy place.

It advises against setting out funeral preferences in a will, because a will is often not found or read until after the funeral.

It also advises against putting the only copy in a safe deposit box, because the family may have to make arrangements on a weekend or a holiday, before the box can be opened.

The same page says it is a good idea to look at your decisions again every few years, and to make sure your family is aware of your wishes.

If there is a prepaid plan

The record notes only that a plan exists and where its contract is kept. It has no place for what was paid.

The Federal Trade Commission says the laws of individual states govern prepaying for funeral goods and services, and that protections vary widely from state to state.

It suggests telling your family about any plans you have made and where the documents are filed. It says that family members who do not know a funeral was prepaid could end up paying for the same arrangements.

This site says nothing about whether to prepay. The Federal Trade Commission page linked under Sources lists questions to consider first, and you can ask your own attorney.

Asking about prices

The Federal Trade Commission's Funeral Rule gives you the right to get price information on the telephone, and a written, itemized price list when you visit a funeral home. The Commission says the Rule applies whether arrangements are made when a death occurs or in advance.

What this part is not for

• It has no place for choices about medical treatment.
• It is not the place to say who should receive money or property. For that, see your own attorney.
• It has no line for a signature, a witness or a date of signing.

Questions about your care belong with your own doctor. You can stop at any time. If you are in distress, call or text 988 in the United States, or your local emergency number.

Sources

A sentence on this page that states a fact about the world rests on one of the official pages below. A sentence that only describes this record rests on no outside page.

If something on this page looks wrong, or an official page has changed since the date shown, please say so. The contact page explains how.